I am not a housewife.

At least not right now, and not in the sense that everybody seems to want to associate with such.

And I am happy for your husbands as well, as they have chosen with you to do the out-of-home work and you will take care of the housework. That is so cool. You get to spend time investing in the home you’re creating together, and he gets to “bring home the bacon.”

Some of you get to spend time with your children, get to take an entire day and devote it to laundry. This is hard work. Let me reiterate. This is hard work and by no means am I bashing a homemaker’s role, you work so hard and the only difference is that you don’t leave your home to do your job. I hear of some women who take their time at home to, when not keeping the house, invest in neighbors, bake a beautiful dish for dinner. These are such beautiful things that you get to experience.

I just got married, too. I’ve been married for three and a half weeks, and it has been wonderful. We took a week and a half to just enjoy each other’s company, learn how to live with another person, and then real life started up again. Real life for me looks so different than the real life than for most of the other newlywed women in my life. I leave for my job at the same time as my husband. We kiss each other outside of the apartment as we head our separate ways into two separate cars to two separate towns to do two separate jobs. It takes a lot of effort and mindset-shifting to approach Facebook with the same affection I did before I had this opportunity to compare.

This is not a value statement.

It’s just isolating, in a fashion. That it seems that no new wives I know experience their days the way I do. Both my husband and I come home, one of us cooks dinner, one of us cleans up afterward. Nobody really has time to vacuum, do laundry, cook, declutter, or wash the poor car that still has “just married!” all over it. And we make do. No, we do so much more. We thrive. I love my marriage and I love my husband. And I am a woman in the workforce.

We are equals, in so many ways, my husband and I. And for now, I love our life exactly how it is. Again, this works for us right now. This will likely change. But we will continue to see each other as equals and love each other sacrificially. We both come home from work tired, prepare dinner tired, and clean up tired, but it is a life I would never trade.

I don’t have much time to create art, or concentrate on home maintenance. There is no point to this page, only my observations and plea for an empathy.

I am not a housewife. At least not right now.


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