I know you’re exhausted. Weary. Need just maybe a week, to decompress and reevaluate everything. But the world won’t hand you that week so you continue to wear down until you’ve been scraping the bottom of the barrel so long it’s worn into the ground beneath.
I know you’re craving a being-taken-care-of by someone who says they love you and this time – this time they must mean it, it’s about time you caught a break.
I know you work so hard for so little and are surrounded by these people who, growing up, all said “we love you!…as long as you’re a perfect reflection of exactly what we think you look like!”
I may not know what it feels like. But I know enough to know that no. It’s not fair. And that you have a choice, you actually have many choices, and one of them is to give yourself over to these thoughts that you’ll never make it.
That no matter what you do you won’t get the break you need or the love you deserve or ask for.
That you will always live in this in-between state – where you must function as an adult. But where you live is treating you like a child.
You could choose this. You could choose instead to see that the menial things, the schooling, the purposeless tasks of every day are all forging together to create a pathway on which you’re walking right now. You are setting yourself up for a life of challenges, right now, but oh, such rewarding challenges you will face.
You can choose to keep on this path. You made the choice. You’re in school, you’re working toward something greater. You have a future. You can choose to embrace it or ignore it. But you have one. You are loved, friend.