This is something I wrote over a year ago, and just found again in some old drafts. I like my old ramblings.
I want to be a mother. I wish for the chance to tell a child about the world, teach them about what it really means to be alive, and show someone who means the world to me everything I know.
I would make a good mother, I think. And this is not to say I should have a child. Nor that I have earned one because of how loving I am capable of being.
It goes the same way for a husband. Someday I want a husband, I believe he could help me grow and I could help shape him into the best possible himself he can be. But knowing that this is how I think, I don’t believe for a second that because I desire a husband that I’ll have one or that I can possibly earn such a blessing. Quite the opposite. A husband, a husband and a child, or any other kind of blessing out there, comes completely and entirely from God.
In my contentedness with living completely for God, I am acutely aware of the intentions that could form in my heart. I don’t ever want to reach the point where I expect a blessing because of how content I am without it. I guess all this goes to say, no matter what happens in my life, I am content knowing I will be blessed beyond what I could imagine, whether this is with someone I fall in love with, a ministry of some other kind through a church, or a third-world full-blown mission. Whatever the case may be, I’m happy with where my life is and where it may be headed.
I’m already surrounded by blessings, so looking for more is not only pointless but also counterproductive.